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, a in the 1st Infantry Battalion, was among the first to land at Anzac Cove just before dawn on April 25 1915.

In the chaos, Farr went missing. When the first roll call was conducted on April 29, he was nowhere to be found. His record was amended to read “missing”, something guaranteed to send any parent into a blind panic.

It was not until January 1916 that it was determined Farr had been killed in action in Turkey sometime between April 25 and 29. He was 20 years old when he died.

His mother, Mary Drummond, had spent months in agony waiting for any news of her only child. Her initial deference to authorities gave way to an increasingly desperate and angry correspondence. She :

Now Sir, I think it is your duty […] when a mother gives her son […] when that son is wounded, she ought to have some news.

By October, she tried to enlist the help of her local member of parliament, to find out if her son was alive.

But it was not until 1921, six years after Farr was last seen alive, that the army conceded exhaustive enquiries had failed to locate his body. She :

I only wish you could tell me if you knew he was buried, my sorrow would not be so great.

Farr’s name is etched on a panel at the at Gallipoli, along with more of his Australian comrades who likewise have no known grave.

A heavy price

Almost half of the eligible white, male population of Australia volunteered and enlisted in the between 1914 and 1918.

Of the 416,000 who joined up, more than served overseas. Of these, would never return. These are among the highest casualty figures for any combatant nation in the entire war.

of Australia’s soldiers were unmarried, like Farr; in some rural communities, that rate was . So the burden of bereavement fell on the shoulders of ageing parents.

The impact of wartime bereavement on ageing parents was enormous. For some, grief became the primary motif for the rest of their days. For most, the memory haunted them into the post-war years, and for all, the war became the pivotal event of their lives, after which nothing would ever be the same.

Some ended up in mental hospitals

The physical health of many parents when they heard their son had died. One example was Katherine Blair. She at the age of 54 from heart failure on the first anniversary of her son’s death in France.

There was evidence of mothers and fathers becoming violent, thinking about suicide, causing , and turning to alcohol in their distress.

As I outlined in , many working class mothers and fathers joined the wards of public mental hospitals, such as Callan Park in Sydney. Some stayed there for the rest of their lives.

Upper class families avoided the stigma of public mental hospitals, as they could afford to see private doctors, and have nursing assistance at home.

Upper class fathers, in particular, appointed themselves as guardians of their son’s memory. They spent an inordinate amount of time, effort and funds on lobbying the Australian government for recognition of their son’s service, and producing elaborate memory books and commemorative artefacts. Perhaps this was a , but one not available to working class families.

How mourning changed

Death and injury during the war touched every part of the country, from cities to hamlets, from towns to stations.

The scale of loss was as shocking as it was unprecedented, and permanently changed the practices in Australia.

Funeral services and overt displays of mourning differed according to class. Overall, however, the Australian experience of death in the 19th century was based on traditions embraced in Victorian England – deathbed attendance, the graveside funeral service, the headstone and its inscription, and the physical act of visiting the grave to place flowers or other mementos on special occasions.

There was also the practice of wearing mourning black and for wealthier families, ornate funeral processions through the streets with plumed horses to demonstrate the social standing and piety of the deceased.

Neither was available to the bereaved in Australia during the Great War. These established, reliable patterns had been stripped away.

Instead, and with so many who were bereaved, the notion of claiming loss in public was seen as tasteless and vulgar.

Rather than funerals being ostentatious public displays, they became private affairs for family and close friends.

Grief was endured and expressed within the privacy of the home, with a performance of dignified stoicism in public. The practice of wearing mourning black fell out of style.

An estimated war memorials were built across the country. These became the focal point for communities to honour their dead and remember their sacrifice, a practice we still see on Anzac Day today.

, Senior Lecturer, School of Humanities and Social Inquiry,

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